i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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