Whod you bang
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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