just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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