I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
