we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
