I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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