you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
