The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
