I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
