i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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