they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
