i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
