i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
