toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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