So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
