i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
