Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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