Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
