just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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