It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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