I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
