Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
