dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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