mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
