the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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