I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
