Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
