This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
