He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
