Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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