i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize