And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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