WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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