I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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