what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All the doctor said was why
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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