honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
