And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
