PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
