drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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