sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
