idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
