I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
