Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
