Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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