do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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