he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
