Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Is it penis luge time yet?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
