Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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