so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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