I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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