So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
two words...techno handjob
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
